Alright everyone, be honest… This time of year, how many times per day do you say some sort of version of “What is happening here?’’ My true confession is that my version of the statement is normally riddled with “R” rated words. Sometimes I even consider hanging a sign around my neck telling the world that I’m at my wits’ end and my very last nerve is frayed. At least then anyone I encounter will be forewarned!
To be very honest, in my lifetime, this time of year has brought traumas that I find I still need to reconcile with. From being very young and feeling the tension in my home and not understanding the enormous worry my parents were probably feeling, to going back to school and not knowing if some of my friends had moved away or if the teacher was nice, to being older and able to understand my parents’ worry but not being able to feel helpful enough to calm their fears, and to now when I fully understand what the worry is. The fear of a freak devastating storm, not enough water, a swarm of damage-producing bugs, legislators not listening, fixing one problem only to find another possibly bigger one. Golly, the list goes on!!
Recently, I was able to attend a U.S. House of Representatives, House Natural Resources Subcommittee on Water, Wildlife & Fisheries. U.S. Representative John Duarte – District 13 requested the hearing, and the Congressmen that attended besides Mr. Duarte were Chairman Cliff Bentz from Oregon’s District 2, Doug LaMalfa – District 1, Tom McClintock – District 5, David Valadao – District 22, and Vince Fong – District 20. After brief introductions, the committee heard testimony from panelists ranging from water agencies to farmers, including an attorney that essentially became an attorney because there wasn’t much left of the farm to go back to after college.
Tellingly, the people invited but declined to come were the Commissioner of the Bureau of Reclamation, the Director of U.S. Fish and Wildlife, and the Under Secretary of Commerce for Oceans and Atmosphere & NOAA Administrator Department of Commerce. I found it interesting that the Congressmen, including Chairman Bentz, all come from areas that are directly impacted by laws and regulations that have been made by short-sighted legislators and that are being implemented by the very departments that declined to come to what was essentially a listening session. One topic that came up besides the usual financial devastation was the significantly increasing mental health crises that those of us in production agriculture are facing. It was refreshing to hear that particular elephant be talked about out loud.
At lunch after the hearing, a few of us talked and bonded over the feelings of needing to prove you have your stuff together and can do it all, and how isolating it can be when you are the one that everyone depends on and, because of some perceived guilt or weakness, we hesitate to reach out to ask for help. We also talked a lot about faith and where we find God. I have never really had a “home” church. I find God in a cool breeze, riding around with the windows down and the music up loud. When I’m trackside watching my husband race and praying, I often can feel the words, “I’m right here. You’re going to be okay.” When I stand in my backyard at night listening to all the nighttime creatures and reflecting on the day, I often think something along the lines of, “Thanks for one more chance to try to make my world a better place.”
I know this message is a bit heavier than I normally write. Like I said in the beginning, this time of year is tough for me. I feel like it’s tough for many of us. If you’re a Believer, God has you, and He has probably put people and resources in your life so that you are never alone and don’t have to feel hopeless. Even if you’re not a Believer, there are still people and resources that you can depend on. For me, just the knowledge that there are a handful of people I can reach out to if I need them day or night is often enough for me to take the deep breath and carry on. Only one thing is certain—life will go on whether you decide to participate in it or not. I hope all of you will.
PS: I’m a huge fan of screaming at the top of my lungs with or without cuss words! This is where the car ride and loud music helps!
